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Brave Soul

I want to be brave. I want to be strong. I want to someday stop buying into the idea that I need to be skinnier or prettier.  I want to not feel the need to validate myself by being busy, wanted, or better than anyone else.  I want to be strong enough to stop giving into sadness and depression. 

Why do I want to do this? Because I want to be a worthy role model for those younger than me. I wish I had a young woman to look up to as I grew up that practiced what they preached. That passionately followed Christ, was self confident, not dictated by society’s expectations, and loved others more than herself.  I want to be that for girls someday.

I know it’ll take so much work. I look at myself, and inside, I’m far, far away from that woman I want to be.  The issues I have run so deep.  I need Jesus to repair me.  I want to stop running away, and instead run to Him.  Even if it’s hard, I want to become who I’m made to be, starting with my heart. 

He’s the only one that can replace my fickle, scarred soul with a brave soul.

Started reading Oscar Wilde’s “The Portrait of Dorian Gray”.

So many beautiful words! He has such a way of writing that makes you believe every sentence is sage wisdom, history, and parable all at once!

“…and the worst of having a romance of any kind is that it leaves one so unromantic”

“Noting can cure the soul but the senses, just as noting can cure the senses but the soul”

“But we never get back our youth. The pulse of joy that beats in us at twenty becomes sluggish. Our limbs fail, our senses rot. We degenerate into hideous puppets, haunted by the memory of the passions of which we were too much afraid, and the exquisite temptations that we had not the courage to yield to. Youth! Youth! There is absolutely nothing in the world but youth!”

-Oscar Wilde